January 2008

Evaluate.

So this afternoon I watched the video I made last night. It’s the one I blatantly shared on the blog; the one called “The Ride After Guinness”. After watching the video I realised that it’s a good thing I live life without regret and choose to treat everything as a learning experience. To be quite honest, I didn’t enjoy seeing myself a little intoxicated. On one hand I wasn’t puking or anything, after all I was sober enough to edit the video when I got home (though I don’t really remember doing it). I guess drunks everywhere are lucky that the latest version of iMovie can export directly to YouTube. However, on the other hand, I kind of blabber on like an idiot. It reminded me of the time I was drinking with co-workers and inadvertently grabbed the company Vice President’s ass.

I think I’m going to calm down on the Guinness. My gut will thank me for that and the scale will breathe a sigh of relief.

I decided to celebrate the first weekend of the New Year by cleaning the house from top to bottom. I figured it should be done once a year and I might as well do it at the beginning of the year so I remember when to do it again. Earl was up at the crack of dawn so he could go to work so I didn’t make him join in my fun when he got home, though he was kind enough to pack up the Christmas decorations.

He did join in the merriment for a moment when I nearly passed out from bleach fumes. I didn’t know you weren’t suppose to put pure bleach in a squirt bottler and found myself a little woozy while cleaning the bathroom. To remind me not to do that again, he took a video of me coughing, gasping, wheezing and lying on the bathroom floor.

I don’t think I’m going to share that video.

Tonight’s fun (and subject of today’s 365 Days photo) has been making a new DJ SuperCub mix. If it passes quality control later on I’ll share it with the masses.
DJ Super Cub

The Ride After Guinness.

It is very dangerous for me to carry the Flip video camera with me at all times, especially after a few beers. But, I’ve promised myself that I would present life unedited on this blog, so here’s a video.

365 Days: Day 4.



365 Days: Day 4.
Originally uploaded by iMachias.

The camera freaked out when I was taking my 365 Days photo for the day and it did this little bright sunshiny thing. I’d like to take credit for the effect but it was completely by accident. I think it’s kind of cool looking though.

Tick Tock.

I’m a bit of a time geek. On one hand I know that time is an arbitrary unit of measurement assigned to any random moment of existence, and quite often I curse this human invention (usually when I want to be somewhere and it seems to be a long way off due to the time between me and whatever “it” is). However, on the other hand I am always aware of the current time. I need to know what time it is, no matter where I am. And I think it’s the pre-occupation with time that is slowly driving me nuts.

I left work on my lunch hour at precisely 12:30 p.m. I normally do this at noon. By leaving at noon, I neatly divide my work day into two even halfs: four hours in the morning, four hours in the afternoon, then ain’t we got fun. However, because I left for lunch at 12:30, I am now quite giddy with the fact that my afternoon half of the day is shorter than the morning half of the day, which means I will be closer to quitting time when I sit back at my desk at precisely 1:30 p.m.

I guess it’s the little things.

I’m constantly running a countdown clock in my head as well. For example, I usually have a running tab in my brain that has things like “Twelve days and eight hours until our big visit” or “76 days until spring”. I usually round to the nearest day when it’s over than two weeks. I allow myself that luxury.

Now I’m not going to freak out by yelling “Wapner Time! Wapner Time!” and start rapping on the door of a house in the middle of a cornfield the next time I’m in Oklahoma or anything. My timeliness doesn’t go down that path. Yet. But my touch of OCD keeps my preoccupation with time even more interesting as I need to have all clocks within eyeshot in perfect synchronization with one another. Part of this stems from my collection of old school clocks that are wired throughout the house; they all advance in unison, once a minute, just like they did in the elementary and high schools of days gone by. But in today’s digital era, where every electronic item has it’s own clock following it’s own rhythm, I’m presented with a greater challenge of trying to make all the digital displays advance in unison with the school clock collection. It’s become a weekly chore of synchronizing the microwave, stove, alarm clocks and one quartz clock we have with the school clock collection system, which is synchronized to all the computers, which are synchronized with the atomic clock in Colorado.

There will come a time when I will just have to sit back and enjoy the moment without assigning a series of numbers and a flashing colon to it (why does that last part sound dirty to me?) Until then, does anyone really know what time it is?

Mattress Compatibility.

The room is dim. As you enter, your senses are overwhelmed with the sights and sounds of a typical Friday night. You feel confident. As you casually scan the room, looking over the forms that move dimly ahead of you, your eyes lock with another pair of eyes that are searching for the same thing. Fireworks explode, chimes ding, hearts sing. You have found your soul mate.

It’s a little while (minutes, days, weeks, months, years, take your pick) later that the confidence you felt that night is put to the test for the first time. Forget all that has transpired during the courtship; the home cooked meal that was successfully executed without a trip to the emergency room and the fact that your newly beloved doesn’t have a search warrant or three. Put that all aside, for it’s time to get into bed together.

You approach the bed and make your way to “your side”. He approaches the bed and makes his way to “his side”. And you hope and pray and get all sweaty nervous that the “two” sides are not the “same” side. It’s make it or break it time. Will he hop on my side of the bed? Is this a weird game of musical chairs?

Where is it written that a married/committed/adulterous/take your pick couple must spend the entire night together? Who’s idea was it anyways? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the theory behind sharing a bed. You hit the sheets, mess them up a lot with some wild action and then snuggle up next to each other in contentment, spoon style, and visit Mr. Sandman together. But does it really happen that way? More times than not Earl and I sleep very contently together, so I guess it’s a good thing. There are other times, though that he keeps me very much awake or vice versa. Once in a while he wakes up to find me sleepwalking and he has to steer me back to bed. Occasionally his CPAP machine blows a gale force wind that parts my eyebrows. But truth be known I wouldn’t change it for anything. I knew it would work out o.k., you see Earl and I went to opposite sides of the bed that first night. There’s only one side of the bed that’s my side of the bed and that’s my side of the bed (unless I’m sandwiched inside a group, but that’s a different tale I’ll save for another time)! Just for kicks we tried to switch sides one night early in our relationship and that was a complete disaster. Sheets flew, nightstands danced, the headboard was jarred, I had his knee in my groin and Tom didn’t know who’s ass to bounce off of as he made his way for the windowsill. We vowed to never do that again and nearly 12 years later I think this is the first time I’ve mustered enough courage to mention it.

Looking back, I think my grandparents were on to something with their custom made bed: I believe it was two queen sized mattresses placed side by side with a common set of sheets. It was the only way that she could tolerate his snoring; in a bed that size she was in the next zip code.

Truth be known I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Just a little extra shut-eye once in a while.

Hold The Pickle, Hold The Lettuce.

Like many of my fellow Americans, today I have officially kicked off a healthier approach to eating to keep in line with this whole New Year thing. I was rather surprised this morning when I jumped on the scale for the first time in a month or so, for while I basically grazed throughout all facets of “Happy Holidays”, I only gained six pounds. I was thinking (and felt like) I had gained considerably more than that. To celebrate this sigh of relief I refrained from drop kicking the scale per my usual yearly custom. That means no new scale. That’s o.k., this one lies well.

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of chatter about the Atkins Diet, the South Beach diet and their equally depressing cousins; instead we are being bombarded with commercials for NutriSystem and LA Weight Loss. While I could find myself easily falling for the hype of losing weight fast (and gaining it back even faster), I’ve decided to just eat sensibly and get back onto my exercise program which involves more sex, more often and faster, with a few pushups thrown in to keep up the stamina.

As recently as 48 hours ago I was pondering going to full blown vegetarianism again, and while I am still considering it I don’t see being a vegetarian as a good way to lose weight nor is it magically healthy. I mean, technically I can eat a whole bag of Doritos and chase it down with a pound of potato salad and still be a vegetarian. While quite tasty I don’t think that would be healthy. No, if I’m going to do the vegetarian thing, it would be more for the whole no harm to animals motif. I’m going to ponder that one a little longer before making a decision.

I think one of the most important things a person can do is drink water. Lots of water. I think drinking water keeps the whole system flushed and you burn a few extra calories with the extra trips to the bathroom. If you start feeling like you need to head up stream to spawn, then you’ve probably had a bit too much water though. Starting today I am giving up diet pop again. I think my odometer turned over with the number of times I’ve given up drinking the stuff. Let’s see if 2008 is the year it sticks. Without all the synthetic crap found in diet soft drinks I should remember that I’ve given up the stuff.

All in all I’m ready for a healthy approach to this New Year. Perhaps I’ll earn a few bucks in the spring by selling the clothes that no longer fit on ebay. I hear retro 90s is in.


365 Days: Day 2 on Flickr.

2008: Day 1.

So here we are. It’s officially been 2008 for nearly a day and all is right with the world. I always welcome the New Year because it feels like a “warm reboot” of my life; a chance to get everything back in order, a chance to lose a few pounds and a chance to focus on new goals and dreams.

Earl and I arrived home from our trip to the Massachusetts South Shore around 2:15 this afternoon. We didn’t get settled into the house until 3:15 or so, because in order to get the car in the driveway I had to hike down to the house through around 10 inches of snow and make my way to the snowblower and clean out the driveway while Earl drove back and forth, up and down the road, monitoring my progress. As I walked up and down the driveway behind the snowblower, cranky because I had to use the slowest gear since the snowblower didn’t like handling all that snow, I dreamed of living in the middle of the Arizona desert in a spacious, sunshine filled house with solar and wind powered dreams and scantily clad men (aside from a collar or something of that sort) feeding me grapes and giving me a massage. It’s the only way to get through snowblowing the driveway.

The weekend in Massachusetts was fun. We stayed with our friends Scott and Mark and partied for a while last night at the Randolph Country Club. We went with the “club package” for the evening; this included a buffet dinner and a live band with dancing and whatnot. They expected over 100, there were only 40 people there. The live band was good but we felt a couple of decades too young for the music they were playing. Luckily, the Randolph Country Club has many bars and dance floors and such so we escaped to the younger part of the bar and danced a bit before heading back to Scott and Mark’s to watch Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark do their thing. We were in bed by 12:30.

I’ve watched a number of people do the “365 days” photo journal on Flickr over the past year; I’ve decided to jump in the fun. I can’t guarantee that I’ll remember to do it, but I plan on taking at least one photo a day to document that day in Flickr. It might be a fun thing to do.

I kicked off the New Year by shaving my head again for the first time in a number of months; I decided to make a photo documenting this for my 365 Days: Day 1 photo.
Head Shave.