November 13, 2006


This morning while eating breakfast, I saw Tom go scurrying across the kitchen floor and tear into the dining room at high speed. He appeared to be in pursuit of something. Turns out he was chasing something across the floor.

It was a dust bunny.

Since I had shoveled a space for myself at the kitchen table just moments before, I figured that the universe was giving me not-so-subtle hints that we needed to clean the house.

I don’t know what we were thinking three years ago. “Let’s buy a house twice the size of the old one, and to keep it interesting, let’s leave the housekeeper behind!” What the hell was I thinking. It’s almost as ludicrous as having a performance “Sleeping Beauty” next to the service porch of the Brady house.

Granted, I often referred to our old housekeeper as Agnes Destructo and I often wondered if she was going to go up in flames from smoking while spraying bleach as an air freshener, but at least the house looked good.

So tonight I dusted and swiffered and sucked up everything in sight. By the way, can someone please tell me the purpose of the hole with a moveable cover in the vacuum cleaner hose? What is the purpose of that? To reduce the amount of suction? “My God, I’ve sucked up the cat, better release the pressure.” I don’t think so. I find it annoying and worthy of a swath of duct tape.

Our county has a crazy code that every home built after 1995 must have a telephone jack in each room. I guess the geniuses had never heard of a cordless phone getup before and decided they were doing the public service a favor. You know what they should have done? Required central vacuum systems in every home.

I was a spoiled little cub growing up. My grandparents had a beautiful house next door to our mobile home. Grandma would bake cookies or some other good-farm-wife inspired dessert weekday afternoons and I would trot over after getting off the bus to catch “Bewitched” and “I Dream of Jeannie”, eat some cookies, drink some milk and hang out with Grams as she did her household chores. Their house was so big it had two central vacuum systems (one at each end). Gram never lugged around a vacuum cleaner canister get up, getting all twisted in the cord and emptying the bag after every room because of all the dust she sucked up. No, she had a hose and a wand that she plugged into ports strategically located throughout the house. No muss, no fuss. When my dad built our house a few years later, it had a central vacuum system. Again, no muss, no fuss.

Why the hell doesn’t this house that’s less than ten years old have such a thing? I have a good mind to buy one and put one in myself. Some pipe, some drilling, a little luck and voila, instant domestic bliss. Why get a sock stuck in the wand with a hole when you can lodge it nice and tight in some dark recess of a wall?

Let’s face it, if I have the energy to install a central vacuum system then I must certainly have the energy to clean the house the old fashioned way. By witchcraft.

I keep telling Earl that I’m going to hire a housekeeper for this house. His only requirement is that they’re male, naked and work after hours.

Sounds good to me.

Hey, They Look Familiar.

So I was innocently looking around on the internet when I found a picture of a hot couple that was taken in Phoenix, Arizona this past summer.


TiVo Worthy.

Now that the new television season is well underway and shows are already starting to fall to the wayside, Earl and I are making the very important decisions as to what stays on the TiVo and what gets deleted.

First, The Winners.
Heroes (NBC). I love the premise of this show. I like most of the characters in this show. I like the actors that are working on this show. I find the special effects to be quite nice. My only gripe with this show is that it feels like it’s moving at a snail’s pace. I don’t feel “satisfied” after an hour of watching it in the sense that I feel like no progress has been made toward a goal. I understand that I’m suppose to tune in next week to see the next chapter, but the speed in which things are happening is just so slow. We’re already seven episodes into the season and we’re still meeting characters. However, it’s my favorite new show of the season, though I find it terribly frustrating. And Greg Grunberg gets major woof points, as Adrian Pasar does as well, although not as many woof points because his teeth make me nervous. They’re too big or something, they remind me of Dionne Warwick.

Las Vegas (NBC). I don’t see this show lasting but I find it mildly interesting, especially the character of Samantha.

Brothers and Sisters (ABC). I’m glad to see Sally Field, Calista Flockheart and a whole bunch of others in one cast. Earl and I are just discovering this one and are catching up via the TiVo. So far, we’re liking it. I found the scene where the gay brother goes out with the more open gay guy to be quite enjoyable.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC). Sports Night and The West Wing meets a new cast in a new situation. Being huge fans of the two aforementioned shows, Earl and I find this show to be engaging and comfortable in it’s style.

The View (ABC). I know, I know, the readers let out an audible groan. Earl and I have never really watched The View as it’s geared towards women and not really our cup of tea. However, we’re both fans of Rosie O’Donnell so we thought we’d add it to the lineup. We both like the banter during “Hot Topics”. Rosie is, well, Rosie, we find Elisabeth to be a little yawn inspiring, we absolutely adore Joy Behar and we think Barbara Walters brings the energy of the show down a little bit. Hey, it takes all sides and all kinds, I guess. We watch “Hot Topics” and skip the rest most of the time.

Medium (NBC). We haven’t missed an episode yet, but it’s being all trendy by holding off until November 15 for it’s season premiere so the jury is still out. Plus, Patricia Arquette seems to have cut her hair and that never bodes well.

Reruns we’re watching
Still Standing (Lifetime). I never saw this show in it’s original run, it seems like an updated version of Roseanne but personally I’m liking it. It hasn’t earned a spot on the TiVo yet but I’ll watch it if I’m working in the kitchen or bedroom and can see the television from where I’m standing.

The TiVo Boot
How I Met Your Mother (CBS). Last year we watched this show religiously and enjoyed it. This year it does absolutely nothing for us. We’re both happy that Neil Patrick Harris is a certified member of the team, but we’re still not going to re-add the show back to the TiVo.

The rest of our TiVo lineup from years past seems to have self destructed.