I’m making like a real internet café junkie today and hanging out at a local Barnes and Noble, enjoying a Tazo Chai and a granola bar. The internet connection is acceptably fast.

One of the things that I love about hanging out in a café like this is the people watching. I’m fascinated, and often frustrated by the general public. The folks seem rather tame in this Barnes and Noble though, there obnoxiousness level is at a minimum.

Three tables ahead of me there are two women, which I would describe as “two old broads” because that’s what I do, who are wearing a lot of hairspray, a week’s worth of makeup and those fancy coats that look like floor length ponchos. They carry an air of “old money”. Not the regal type, but the “we just dragged those old two dollar bills out from under the mattress” type old money. They’ve rearranged their chairs twice, moved the table east and west a couple of times, knocking their neighbor, who was content reading his book entitled “The Emperors’ New Mind”, and now they’re cackling more than the hens I heard at last year’s State Fair. The blonde (not really) woman is reading a book called “The Jell-O Collection”. I bet tonight she is going to make one of those jello concoctions where they put lettuce salad in clear jello. Just like in high school. You know the type of salad, it’s a few shreds of lettuce, a hunk of carrot and radish, all engulfed in a clear or green colored jello, suspended right there in mid-air, suspending your belief that anything like that could taste good.

They just turned their table counter-clockwise 90 degrees. Ponchos are swaying and the Emperor guy just gave them a nasty look. They’ve now left the building and have mounted their brooms parallel parked outside, ready for take-off.

Meow. I’m vicious.

To my right is a very good looking bearded young man. He’s very intellectual looking. I would upgrade his “very good” to an “exceptional” if it wasn’t for his floor length pony tail hanging behind him. Oh well, there’s always scissors.

Straight ahead is a young student banging on his laptop keyboard in a seemingly frustrated way. Let me check again, yep, it’s a Dell running Windows.

Gosh, I love my PowerBook. Have I mentioned that recently?

I see another woman in the far corner using an IBM ThinkPad. I don’t think I’ve seen one of those in use for a while. Every PC-centric person in this area seems hell bent on owning a Dell.

Sip check. Tazo Chai made with soy milk, not as sexy as whole milk. But a whole lot healthier.

A group of four older women have installed themselves in the back corner and have set up a Scrabble game. They look to be having a good time. I hope to be able to retire someday to do the same. I’m pretty good at Scrabble.