Normally I would admit what I’m about to say in my blog right away but for some reason I was a bit hesitant this time. I don’t know if I have to go to “blogger denier’s anonymous” or not, but I feel I must come clean and admit my true feelings about something.

Last week I stepped on the bathroom scale for the first time in a long time. I then lept off twice as fast as the time it took to get on it.

Contrary to popular belief, I did not drop kick it.

A couple of years ago I went on a health kick and lost nearly 50 pounds. My goal was 30 pounds and I figured by losing 50 I’d have some room to play around so to speak because I’ve always heard that you gain at least 10 pounds back after you lose weight. I think I passed my intended benchmark some time around Thanksgiving. That was the night my belt flew off my waist unassisted and scared the heck out of our cat Tom.

Now I’m not where I was before I started losing weight back in 2001, but I was headed back into that neighborhood. I admit it, I was taking delight in big meals and looking for the smallest excuse to eat something. “Oh look, I vacuumed half the staircase, time for a chocolate chip cookie!” Moderation became a foreign word to me. If the huge appetizer wasn’t covered in Cheez Whiz and then deep fried, I wasn’t interested. Salad? Please. Use the vegetables to decorate the mantle for the holidays.

Back in 2001 I was interested in losing weight for health reasons. And that’s primarily the reason I want to lose weight again. I have friends that run mile after mile in marathons. I can’t even run from Best Buy to the Apple store in the local mall without having to stop to catch my breath, despite having two “empty” credit cards. I also have some clothes I’ve outgrown that I really want to wear this summer and I’m bound and determined to get back into them again.

I also want to be able to kick some ass should the need ever arise.

This week I’ve been back on my moderation kick – I haven’t really gone on a diet per se, because I don’t believe in “dieting” and throwing your body, life and spouse into shock, but I’ve been watching labels and somewhat counting calories and concentrating on keeping the fat grams low. Aside for a pizza party, I’ve been pretty much sticking to that rule of thumb. (And the pizza party was really good and an enjoyable time).

I already feel better. At least I can run to the Apple store now.

My goal is to get back into last summer’s clothes by May 1st. By writing this in my blog, I’ve made a commitment. I’m in the mood to do some cycling and I’m going to start training for that this weekend. (“Hello block walls in the basement”, he says from the exercise bike.) I’m already looking for bike racks to attach to the back of the camper.

Admittedly, another reason I want to feel and appear healthier is because I’m also planning on doing some videotaping while we’re in the desert this May and I want to look FIERCE for this project I’m formulating in my head. It was inspired by my “superhero spin” from a few days ago.

I’ve promised myself that I’m not going to obsess about this health project this time around and I’m not going to make Earl’s life miserable by shunning food and going all whacko with my food choices. So you probably won’t read a whole lot about it here, but perhaps you’ll notice changes in my photos.

I’ll let you know when I reach my goals.