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Poked and Prodded.

Today I had my pre-op testing for my surgery next week. The folks at Faxton-St. Lukes Hospital seem very nice, in that they explain everything, go step by step through their little checklist of what I need to know and put up with my interjections of humor. I don’t know if the lab tech that took my blood appreciated being asked “why would anyone want to do this?” but hey, sometimes it takes a little patience with your patient. That’s what I always say.

Of course I had to give them a urine sample. Everyone wants my pee. I think they’re saving it up in a big vat or something. They told me not to eat or drink anything since last night, so I felt a little pressure when it came to giving them the big sample, but it all came out in the end. At least I didn’t have to give them the other kind of sample from that area. Once was enough for that! And of course the very cute anestesiologist (I don’t think I would win a spelling bee with that one!) was the one doctor I’ve met in the past two months that didn’t want to check my prostate. I mean, why would he? But at least he could have offered.

One thing that did disturb me is that my blood pressure was high. I suspect my blood pressure has crept up in tandem with my weight. I don’t know why, I’ve cut back on greasy foods to only three or four a day. I have been doing a really bad job of eating healthy. I’m hoping the impending nice weather will help further the cause in that department, so let’s all keep our fingers crossed. I refuse to go on blood pressure medicine again, so I guess I’ll just have to get my weight back down and my exercising going again. It’s not like I’ve gained a ton of weight back, I’ve already lost everything I gained on vacation, but I’m still 10 pounds heavier than I was at this time last year. So I need to shed 15 pounds. I have a goal of April 30. Let’s see if I can do it.

So a week from tomorrow is the big day for the surgery. It’s a minor procedure that’s only going to take 45 minutes or so. I’ll be home in the afternoon. I’ll probably be groggy as all get out, at least I’ll have an excuse for being my goofy self.

I’m not looking forward to the surgery (who would?) but I am looking forward to getting it over with.

Theeeeeeeeeeeere’s Johnny!

So yesterday my father left a message on our answering machine. He and his girlfriend are vacationing in California and are having a great trip and be sure to tape Leno Tuesday night.

Tape it? Tape it? I TiVo’d it thank you very much.

I just took a peek at the opening segment and there’s my dad and Karen in the audience looking like their having the time of their lives! I’m jealous! When Earl and I were in The Rosie O’Donnell Show audience back in 1997, the only thing you could see was the top of my shaved head and Earl’s arm. But there’s my dad and his girlfriend on Leno, plain as day. Oh well.

And yes, I was very clever in getting us tickets to see Rosie O’Donnell back when she had her talk show. Working for a radio station at the time, what better way to get in the audience then to make a huge contest of it and give away tickets to the show, with the winners to be accompanied by station personnel. And of course the station personnel was Earl and me.

Rosie’s people didn’t want to talk to my people, but then I sent her people a fax that said if someone didn’t call me, I would announce the said fax number on the air.

Imagine my surprise when the announcement came over the intercom: “J.P., Rosie O’Donnell’s office is on line 4.”, a mere ten minutes after sending the fax. So we got to see Rosie O’Donnell. The guests that day were Andy Dick, Steve Winwood and Farrah Fawcett. In fact, it was the same day that Farrah had the meltdown on Letterman. She was pretty spacey with Rosie too. We didn’t get to meet Rosie or anything though, she was too busy. And a little cranky during commercial breaks, but we won’t go there.

I can’t wait to hear about my dad’s brush with Hollywood!