As I glance back through old blog entries from time to time, I noticed I have one common theme. I’m constantly trying to improve myself. It’s not that I’m unhappy with myself, because if I do say so, I’m pretty hot shit. Since I’m constantly talking to myself, I know that I enjoy my company. Since I’m so vain, I know that I’m pretty fierce looking. (Wait until you see my new trim goatee).
No, self-appreciation is not an issue. It’s just that I think I can do better. I’m always reaching higher and higher on the Christmas Tree for the better goodie. I want to be smarter. I want to experience everything the world has to offer. I want to be a good citizen. I want to contribute to society more. I just feel like I can do more, see more and BE more.
I occasionally watch “Absolutely Fabulous” on BBC America. Edina is constantly trying to better herself, albeit in very odd fashion, but nevertheless, she is always on a path of self improvement. I kind of like that. I don’t know if one can admire a drug-taking, booze-indulging television character that’s a pure work of fiction, but I kind of like what she has going on in that she’s always trying to go for better. Sure, her path has numerous detours (the show wouldn’t be funny if it didn’t), but at least she’s trying.
My sister’s recent brush with death was sort of a wake up call for me. Am I meant to be the technology professional I am? Should I be in health care? Am I really helping others? Am I a good person? Am I a good brother or son?
I guess the answer is yes. Everyone has a purpose in life. Even evil, dark, negative people have a purpose in life, so that others can learn from experiencing interaction with them.
I’ve decided that my purpose is to be the most positive, uplifting, “good guy” person that I can be, regardless of what I’m doing or where I’m doing it. That’s what I should strive for. Sure, life throws everyone curve balls, but it doesn’t mean that you need to throw the bat on the ground, stomp off the field and crawl into bed with the blankets over your head. And it doesn’t mean that you spit in the other team’s face.
I guess I have to remember all this once in a while. After all, life is just a work in progress. If the project was done, you’d be dead.