Standing Room Only.

Everyone at the office thinks I’m crazy. Actually, they’ve always thought of me as crazy, but I’ve just added another reason to the list. I want to stand in my office. All the time. Now don’t think I want to stand there all hunched over my desk, ass in the webcam. No, I want to raise up all my furniture so that I can stand at my desk, rather than sit at it.

“Why on earth do you want to stand all the time?” “Won’t your feet get tired?” “Your legs can’t support your weight all the time unless you eat meat.” “You left wing tree huggers are so weird.”

Actually, there’s quite a few reasons I want to stand in my office.

First of all, I don’t really sit at my desk, I kneel. I have one of the ergonomic chairs that you kneel on. It’s suppose to do wonders for your back and such by putting you in a more ‘natural’ position. While I’m sure many have entertained the thought of me kneeling in front of them, I have found that while this chair is comfortable for an hour or so. But after a while my right hip somewhat dislocates itself from my pelvic area (a great bar trick at office parties, I assure you), my knees tingle a bit (not as much as when I see Earl, quite honestly) and my patience grows thin (typically me).

Secondly, I find that I am much less productive during my work day if I’m sitting at my desk. I tend to dawdle on my duties… talk on the phone, talk to the plant, check out slashdot (in the name of “information technology research” of course) and basically become rather stagnant in my ability to get tasks completed. O.k., I admit it, sitting in a chair at work makes me lazy. Once I get in a chair, the only thing getting me out of the chair is the thought of lunch.

And finally, I like to think that I’m burning a few more calories by standing rather than sitting at my desk. Ah ha! Gay vanity kicks in. Nah, that’s not it at all. But I don’t want to look like one of those bitchy, wretched, puffy office people suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome who has been hunched over an IBM Selectric since 1977. I want to stand tall, feel sleek and be productive.

I began the slow conversion to SRO in my office today by hijacking an unused entertainment center and converting it to a work area. Don’t ask why we have entertainment centers in our office. You should see the ceramic “elephant” end tables in the sales manager’s office – a smashing selection in décor… if it’s 1968, but I digress. If you look at my work webcam, you’ll see my new little workspace to the left of the server rack. You’ll probably see me standing at it more, working on my laptop. Now that I think about it, you’ll probably get more of my ass on my webcam. Lucky you!

The next task – getting two rows of cinder blocks under my desk when no one is looking.