Equality?

On the way home from work today I used my iPhone to dictate the following blog entry for transcription later on. I’m posting it as I said it to maintain the authenticity of my feelings on the subject of today’s New York State Senate vote on marriage equality.

Anyone that believes that the New York State government is for the people of the state of New York is under a sad misconception because that is not the case at all, as evidenced today by the New York State Senate’ decision to not pass legislation for Marriage Equality, extending marriage rights to ALL citizens of The Empire State. If put up for a public vote today, polls show that the over 50% of New Yorkers, both up and down state, would pass marriage equality. However, only 38% of the Senate voted that way. That is not a reflection of the will of the people and that’s what government is for, to represent their people. They are not representing the citizens of New York, they are representing their personal agenda. And because of this, New York State’s government, everyone in Albany from the governor all the way down, needs a complete overhaul. Everyone needs to be voted out and replaced. They’re not in it for our best interest, they’re in it for their own. They barely do anything and when they do, they screw it up.

I’m beg my fellow citizens of The Empire State to make smart decisions in 2010 and to start preparing for these big decisions today. Follow your local representatives and see what they’re about, learn about your state representatives and what they do and then vote with your heart, but more importantly vote with your mind on Election Day in 2010.

Marriage equality did not win today in New York State and that is very sad. This doesn’t negate, nullify or invalidate the undying love I have for my partner. It does, however, make me a second class citizen of the United States and of The Empire State. I question my relationship with anyone that knows the love I have for Earl and still believes that today’s state senate vote was a favorable one. Not only do I question anyone that believes that, I also have to say that I feel sorry for you.

As my e-mail jingled at me today at work, just moments after the vote:

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Sticker.



303.365, originally uploaded by iMachias.

Yesterday I received a small package in the mail. It was an ebay purchase as I had bought some classic Apple Computer stickers to add to my growing collection of all things Mac. There are four stickers in total.

I’m such a geek.

While I have a ton of the white Apple logo stickers around the house, as they come with just about every Apple product you purchase, these are the first of the older multi-colored logo. However, this is not the first time I have had a sticker like this.

In the summer of 1985 between my junior and senior years in high school I worked for the school district with a handful of other folks my age cleaning the school from top to bottom for the coming school year in the fall. It was one day that summer that we learned that one of my classmates had been killed. His name was Bobby. From what I remember he had passed out in the middle of the street, ironically between the volunteer ambulance corps and the local medical center, and had been fatally hit by a car. He had been drinking.

Back when I was in school students had the same locker from grade 7 through their senior year. I distinctly remember locker 710 (with the combination 48-4-42) being my home base at school for six years.

I was given the task of cleaning out Bobby’s locker so that it would be available for any new students joining us in the fall. Bobby came from a fairly well-off family and they had an Apple ][e. One of their Apple Computer stickers was in Bobby’s locker. Instead of peeling it off with the assigned sticker scraper, I carefully removed the sticker intact and transported it home, where I stuck it to my bedroom door. That sticker stayed on my door until the mid 1990s, when my folks removed it during some sort of remodeling project.

I haven’t thought about Bobby in years. We weren’t overly close in school but he was a nice enough guy with a wild streak and I thought he was good looking. He was one of the first in the class to sport a mustache. It’s funny that I didn’t remember any of this until my new stickers arrived yesterday.

Gifting.

I have been reading a discussion on Slashdot about the purpose of ‘Black Friday’. The discussion has migrated into the meaning of the holidays and the tendency for Americans to purchase stuff they don’t really want or need, all in the spirit of giving.

I kind of get that.

One of the contributors to the discussion suggested some gift ideas that I thought I would share here:

  • Hire a Maid/House Cleaning service to give the house a good cleaning for your spouse, mother, or other special person
  • Hire someone to paint a room or fix something on the home of your loved one

  • Commission the making of a crotcheted Blanket, Sweater, Afghan, from one of the many people in your local neighborhood who does such crafts
  • Hire someone to “Detail” your loved ones car
  • Hire someone to “Cater” your Holiday Dinner or Family Get together
  • Buy your loved one a “subscription” to yard mainenance/landscaping service for one year
  • Buy your father, brother, or other loved one a “Gift Card” for automobile maintenance at the local Mechanic and/or Car Dealer
  • Buy locally hand-made furniture (from the Amish or other local providers), like a wooden rocking chair or dining room table, for your loved ones
  • Hire someone to “prepare a vegetable garden” for your loved one (turn the soil, remove the weeds/roots etc, get it ready for planting in the spring and/or do the initial planting)

Workout.



300.365, originally uploaded by iMachias.

I have been riding the exercise bike in the basement in an attempt to keep my cycling legs in shape. I find riding in the basement to be excessively boring and even blasting music doesn’t help.

Enter video on my iPhone.

On days where I’m doing ONLY cardio, I watch an episode of “Xena:Warrior Princess”. I have always loved me some Xena. On days where I do cardio in addition to strength training, I tend to ride the bike for a shorter time, so I watch an episode of “Josie and the Pussycats”.

How gay am I?

Tonight’s episode was the second one from the first season. It’s called “A Greenthumb Is Not A Goldfinger”. It’s the one where the gang runs into a mad scientist.

Best line of the episode? Josie mistakes Alexandria as a plant creature and beats her up before Alexandria reveals herself, prompting her to say “Who were you expecting, Scooby Doo?”

I’m sorry, I just find that funny.

Contact.

I’m cleaning up the seemingly hundreds of e-mail accounts I have spread all over the internet. It’s part of yet another attempt to be organized when we kick off the new year in five or six weeks.

I have two e-mail addresses now. jp@jpnearl.com has become so bogged down with spam that it isn’t even funny and the others have unwieldy web interfaces or are a little too public for my tastes, so all the others are getting shut down at the end of the month.

The primary e-mail address to contact me is:
imachias-at-me-dot-com1
(You have to make that look like a regular e-mail address when you send me mail. Robots like to grab e-mail addresses from blog entries.)

jp@jpnearl.com will still work but your e-mail won’t get read. Don’t send anything to my work e-mail address because that should rightfully be used for work only. If it has my last name in it it’s my work address. If you’re sending me something dirty (sorry, mom) you probably already know the other e-mail address I use for that. You can send me dirty stuff at imachias-at-me-dot-com and I won’t mind at all. My Gmail, Hotmail and Live accounts are all going away at the end of the month.

1 So much for that Windows 7 hype I was spun up about a month or so ago.

Thrifty.

Earl and I just got back from a ride through the local shopping haunts to see how many people are in line for the various deals on Black Friday. The tally:

  1. We don’t bother looking at Wal*Mart.
  2. Around 30 people in line at Best Buy.
  3. Target, 0.
  4. Poor K-mart. You used to be so much fun.
  5. One couple at Sears. Apparently there is a great deal on a washer/dryer combo and the folks at Sears are handing out four tickets at 3 a.m.

The little adventure was fun but you will never catch us in line waiting for a Black Friday sale.

I’m just sayin’.

Thanks.

So it’s Thanksgiving here in the United States. Earl and I are once again spending the time together here at The Manor and I wouldn’t really want it any other way. Thanksgiving seems to be the holiday that means “home” the most to me, so I am very content with the low-key vibe we have going on. We are going to be eating our delicious meal shortly.

Thanksgiving Dinner.

I left a voicemail on my mother’s cell phone earlier today that pretty much summed up the way I’m feeling: “I’m thankful for it all – everything that has happened in the past and everything that I have today. I wouldn’t change a thing.” I think this aptly sums up the way I feel about my life and the help I’m having navigating through it.

It seems the news is filled with various definitions of family. On this day of thanks I am very thankful for our family and every component of it. I know how blessed I am to have the biological family that I have; I love them for who they are just as much as they love me for who I am. The sentiment continues through to my in-laws as well. But I’m also thankful for the rest of my family; the one that lives with us, the ones that drift in and out as their schedules allow and the ones I call my friends. We may not fit the (XX+XY)+kids=family equation, but as I said in the aforementioned voicemail, I wouldn’t change a thing. My family, all facets of it, have contributed into making me the man I am today.

And for that I am thankful.

Content.



299.365, originally uploaded by iMachias.

I am thankful to be able to wake up like this each morning.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Display.

I’m going to preface this blog entry with two points. 1. I am writing about adult themes in this entry so it probably shouldn’t be viewed by someone that would not be considered an adult and 2. I am completely aware of where I am writing in this entry, the content and it’s visibility.

Update: I knew I would add to this after the fact, there is an addition to this original entry at the bottom. -J.P. 24/11/09 1456 EST

As you may have heard, American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert performed the final number at the American Music Awards. This was Adam’s chance to debut the first single from his new album. I believe the title of the song is “For Your Entertainment”.

Here is a screencap from the performance, courtesy of National Examiner.

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Adam’s performance was, to put it mildly, sexually suggestive. No disrespect to inflated breasts but this performance sexually blew Janet Jackson’ wardrobe malfunction out of the water for a couple of reasons: he french kissed a male guitar player, he had a submissively clothed man simulate oral sex on him and he dragged a scantily clad woman across the stage like a bag of so many potatoes. And that was just a few of the highlights. The performance seemed a little clunky in execution but the vibe was very hot and steamy.

The vocals and the song were both ‘meh’. If it weren’t for the controversy around this performance no one would still be talking about it.

My thoughts on this stunt, and I do firmly believe that despite reports to the contrary this smacks squarely of a publicity stunt, are all over the page.

First of all, I believe that many of the issues we find in American society are because people are downright terrified of their sexuality and because of this, we have put so many taboos on the subject that everyone is afraid to do what truly turns them on. Whether this was a publicity stunt or not, Adam was expressing himself artistically and freely. I totally get that and I identify with that. There is something quite freeing about walking down a foreign city street on a hot summer night in a pair of assless chaps, a jock strap, a leather vest and a pair of military boots. However, time and place are the key here. And this is where I have a problem with Adam’s performance.

The American Music Awards are primarily a family program. This is where the younger generation gets to see awards given to their favorite artists. This is where they see live performances of what they are listening to through their headphones. Whether they are a good influence or not, today’s artists are definitely influences on the younger folks. What they see and hear get integrated into their life experience either consciously or subconsciously. While I don’t have an issue with Adam’s performance per se, I don’t think that a nationally televised award show airing before 11 p.m. (10 p.m. Central!) was the right venue for it. Where Janet Jackson’s boob was a wardrobe malfunction, there was no mistaking what was going on during this performance.

I get the artistic expression. I get the overt sexuality. I don’t have an issue with that. I have an issue with the time and place. One has to wonder if Adam really likes to get his groove on in this manner. I hate the thought of sexuality being used in a non-genuine manner for the sole purpose of publicizing something. Back in the early 90s, I truly believed that Madonna was expressing herself in a genuine way.

One of the unfortunate aspects of this controversy is that some are saying this sets the gay civil rights movement back a notch or two. I don’t believe that to be the case and quite honestly I think the ones that are saying that from our team are the ones that are desperately trying to prove that gay and lesbian couples are no different than their heterosexual married counterparts. And for many people, that is most certainly the case. But just as their are kinky heterosexual folks out there, there are most certainly kinky gay folks as well with varying degrees of ingenuity all the while across all types of people. I know straight married couple that only played in three ways, I know another that would send their kids to the sitters so they could tie each other to the bed and play with whips. If simulating the forcing of a young man onto his crotch gets Adam going then I think that it’s great to find a way for everyone to be fulfilled, but demonstrating this on the stage at the American Music Awards is not the right place to do this.

It’s no secret that there are festivals, fairs and parades all over the world celebrating sexual exploration. I think these are great things and I have even attended my share of these events over the years but like my feelings on Adam’s performance, I have an issue when these things include family-friendly stuff such as circus-like fire shows, face painting and ice cream. While I believe that parents should be open and honest about sexuality with their children as they ask questions and such, I don’t believe that it should be thrusted (no pun intended) into the face of youngsters without an opportunity for their parents or guardians to step in and decide whether the particular activity/scene/etc is right for their kid. Just as I don’t believe that a kid should see me walking through a hotel lobby in the aforementioned assless chaps. There is a time and a place for all of that stuff and I firmly believe that it’s not always the time nor is it always the place.

We are all different. I know that. I knew I was different in kindergarten when I wanted to tell a young classmate that I wanted to marry him by trapping him under a wood slatted rocker/see-saw thing. I understand that most people are wired to be monogamous. I get that some are wired to only insert pole A into slot B and go no further than that in sexual adventure. And I certainly get that some don’t consider a sexual encounter complete unless there is meters of rope, the rattle of chains and a spinning ceiling fan. I get all that. And this diversity should be celebrated. Again, it’s just a matter of timing and placement.

Do I think the gay rights movement was damaged overall. I don’t. Those opposed to equal rights or pushing the hate and fear button are going to latch onto anything they can get their grubby little paws on, and while I think Adam provided them with a week or two of water cooler chatter, I don’t think it’s going to do any long-term damage. People are who they are and they’ll do what they do.

I just wish it would have taken place at more adult-oriented venue.

Update: One of the things that I want to be clear about is that I have no issue with Adam doing a man-on-man kiss during his performance. It was a bit forceful and had a bit of a crazed thing going on but the actual kiss itself wasn’t R rated. Distasteful? A bit but hardly offensive in my eyes. It was the other adult stuff going on that I was commenting on.

Automatic.

Even though this is one of my favorite songs of the 80s (and nearly all time), before tonight I had never seen the official music video. It’s kind of cool to see music videos from back in the day when they were low budget.

I remember the first time I heard this song. I was riding in the back of my friend Scott’s Buick Century on Interstate 81 heading home from the movies in Watertown, N.Y. I remember asking him to turn up the radio because it sounded like such a good son.

The girls look a little cranky in this video but it’s fun nonetheless.

Here’s “Automatic” by The Pointer Sisters.

By the way, it’s Anita on the left, Ruth singing leads and June on the right.