Movie Chat.

Last week Earl and I went to see the movie “Logan” at the Regal Cinemas at Destiny USA. Once destined to be the largest shopping mall in the United States, I think Destiny USA now comes in fourth. It’s nice enough, it’s plenty big and there’s a lot of entertainment value in the sprawling complex but the theaters are a little outdated. They’re pretty much original from the mall when it was built as Carousel Center in 1990. The theatre had a seating capacity of under 100, there were four rows on the lower tier and four rows in a stadium arrangement. There was a single aisle up just one side of the theatre. Behind us was a couple that insisted on talking about the movie during the entire movie. It was like we were sitting in their living room and due to the smaller size of the theater I felt like I was intruding on their private space. This is kind of weird when you think about it because we were, after all, in public movie theatre in which we had swiped a considerable chunk of change onto our credit card for admittance. I’ve noticed that in the past decade or so people think nothing of chatting during a movie. Despite repeated warnings and funny scenes and occasional spurts of ominous music in an ominous font between the commercials and upcoming attractions, people still chat on their phones, text at a retina-searing display lighting level and talk to each other like they’re sitting in the Lazy-Boys in their living room. I think it goes hand in hand with folks that think nothing of playing their electronic device in public (music, movie, news, porn, whatever) in the middle of a Starbucks or similar setting. There’s a reason that every phone maker gives you a set of free headphones with your phone. Use them! Look, I want to enjoy the movie just as much as any other average American that enjoys going to the movies, but being one that is easily distracted in certain situations, I want to be able to concentrate on the movie on the screen and not have to listen to Buffy and Muffy discussing their boyfriends in the row behind me. When you’re at the movie, please sit down, shut up, face the screen and enjoy the show. You dropped a chunk of change to get into the place but it doesn’t make you own it. And a tip to movie theater companies: I would pay DOUBLE the going rate for movie tickets to the company that builds their theatres in Faraday cages, preventing any cell or wi-fi signals from entering or leaving the theatre. Post some large signs advising of such a thing and perhaps we could enjoy movies the old fashioned way. In silence (or laughter if it’s a comedy).